I’ve been asked that question quite a few times in the last two and a half months.

I didn’t know. 

First I said, “I don’t know, I just know the Lord wants me to.” And He did. I kept feeling a weight in my heart when I thought about running away. I know I couldn’t. I mean, I could have. But I know that wasn’t what I was supposed to do. So I stayed. And I fought my way passed the cement and clay. Brick by brick, tearing down the wall. Without my own strength, but His. That was only the first wall, but it was the biggest and strongest. And once it was down, my lack of understanding love turned to heavy empathy, an outpouring of love which I now controlled. 

Then the real battle began. The test of my manhood. Could I be strong in the moments that I needed to be? Because if I wasn’t, I would lose it all. 

I’m still battling, but it’s worth so much more now.

The bond grew and is growing, every day.

But why? I couldn’t pin point it. I knew what I felt, still feel, even more now. But I couldn’t give a reason, I couldn’t put the words to it. 

Tonight it clicked. 

A part of me that I haven’t seen in so long has been raised from the dead. Breathed in life. Gave me a voice again, gave me a pen again. Put my mind and heart to 100%. To create and express again. And it had been so long since I felt like this. But I’ve never found this before, not in this way.

Brings out a part of me that I thought would be gone forever. Makes me wholly feel and wholly express. And now I know why.

Why?
Because, you inspire me.